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email: michelle@theforeverpromise.com

Wedding Coordinators: What do they do?

Wedding coordinators do a long list of things for a wedding. Many coordinators offer full service planning which is everything from designing the reception decor to helping you pick out bridal attire and invitations and everything in between. There are a wide range of packages that can many times be customized to fit your specific needs for your wedding. From consultations only to help you plan certain aspects of the wedding to day-of coordination where you just want to look pretty and have fun and let them take care of all the details. Wedding coordinators have a long list of vendors and can most often help you keep the cost of your wedding within your budget as well as save you money. As the stress of planning a wedding builds, having a coordinator can help you keep your sanity as they are your guide, your advocate and your go-to person for information. As your guide and advocate, they listen to what your vision is for your wedding and they provide you with all of the tools to make this vision a reality. Some coordinators have experience in very large weddings or theme weddings. Most coordinators are present for the rehearsal and the ceremony to ensure that your day is stress-free and wonderful. A good wedding coordinator will help you have fun while planning the big day and cut out the stress.

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Many people underestimate the time, effort and stress that is created by planning a wedding. There are budgets and deadlines that have to be created, you must contend not only with family members who want to have a say as well as finding the right vendors. On top of all that, you will want to design a wedding that is reflective of your dreams as a couple and who you are. All of these things are physically demanding and can be very emotionally draining. By the time they are halfway through the process, many couples are ready to forget it all and elope. A professional wedding coordinator can help you keep the stress to a minimum. He or she is trained to carry out all of the functions and tasks related to planning a wedding and reception. They are also specifically trained to listen to your needs and desires and translate them into the wedding of your dreams.

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What is a destination wedding?

A destination wedding is a wedding that you must travel to. It can be as far away as a different country or right in your own state. Many couples opt for a destination wedding in a place that is special to them or provides a setting that is reflective of their relationship.

Should we send invitations for our destination wedding?

You should only send invitations to guests you want to attend the ceremony. It is perfectly acceptable to send announcements after the wedding to let people know about your wedding. You could also consider having a reception when you return home and enclosing the invite for the reception in with the announcement.

How will I let my guests know where I registered at?

The best way is word-of-mouth. Your parents, maid-of-honor, bridesmaids and other key people in your life can help answer those questions. You should never put it in an invitation as people may think it means that you expect them to buy an expensive gift. Another good place is your website if you have one for your wedding. You can post links to the stores where you are registered and they can go online and look at what you have registered for.

We would rather have people contribute to our honeymoon rather than a gift registry. Is this appropriate?

Absolutely! Some travel agents, such as Time-to-Travel in Washington (located on this website), actually offer a registry where guests can go and buy gift certificates that contribute to the honeymoon package. This is ideal for couples who have already established a home and do not really need that much in the way of household items and it helps the guests feel as if they are participating in this most special event in your life.

Can I have a man as my maid-of-honor or a woman as my best man?

Times change traditions. What once were traditionally gender based roles in a wedding party are now considered places for the people most important to the bride and groom. Whether they are best friends, siblings, cousins or whatever, these people are the ones you couldn't imagine leaving out of your wedding party. As the titles "Maid of Honor" and "Best Man" would not be appropriate, the term used in modern day weddings is "Honor Attendant". So the man standing up for the bride would be the Bride's Honor Attendant and the woman standing up for the groom is the Groom's Honor Attendant on the programs.

How far ahead should I require my guests to RSVP?

Normally, two weeks is the minimum. However, one of the biggest complaints I hear from my brides now is that no one has bothered to RSVP. For whatever reason, people no longer observe this ettiquette even when it is made as easy as to check a box and write the number of guests, put it in the stamped, addressed envelope and put it in the mailbox. This can make it very difficult to finalize with your vendors, most importantly your caterer. Because of this, I now recommend to all of my couples that they make the RSVP date no later than 3 weeks prior to the wedding. That way, they have an extra week to contact guests who have not responded and find out if they are coming and how many should be expected.

I'm getting remarried next year (my second marriage) and would like to know is it acceptable for me to wear a white bridal gown? My FMIL is having a real fit because I want to wear a full length white wedding gown with a veil. Help!

When Queen Victoria wore her stunning white wedding dress in her 1840 wedding to Prince Albert, she is said to have started one of the most popular trends in wedding history. The truth of the matter is that she didn't wear it to symbolize chastity or virginity, but rather to signify her status as a royal. Clothing was dyed to hide impurities in the fabric and therefore could be worn many times. To have a purely white dress which could only be worn once was considered an extravagance that could only be afforded by the exceedingly wealthy and royalty. It is also said that she had a piece of lace that was white and desired to wear on her wedding day, so her dress was designed around it. The white = purity or virginity is more of a modern day invented myth. Incidently; blue has for centuries been the color that symbolized purity and chastity, not white. So, in answer to your question: you may wear white as a second time bride, inside or outside of a church. Wear it with pride and enjoy your day!

Wedding expenses: How do we know who pays for what?

It has been tradition for the bride's family to be financially responsible for most of the wedding. However, by today's standards, it is socially acceptable for the bride and groom to shelter most of this burden on their own. Due to different circumstances, including the desire to have the say so on what will and won't be included as well as consideration for their parents financial situation, many couples are doing it on their own. There are no hard and fast rules about who pays for what, however, the guideline below has been the accepted norm for many years. Bride's Family Wedding gown, veil, and accessories Church & officiant fees, to include the rehearsal and any cleanup at church Programs for the Wedding Ceremony musician(s) Father of the Bride formal wear Flowers for the wedding & reception venue Bridesmaids’ bouquets (not to include the bride's bouquets) Corsages for grandmothers All wedding decorations to include candleabras, flooring/carpeting, table decor Any items for the wedding/reception that are rented Stationary to include invitations, announcements, napkins & other items Reception hall rental and fees Catering and other professional services Photographer  & videographer Reception dj, band or other musician Wedding cake Wedding favors Rice, bubbles or birdseed favors for your departure from the church/venue The Groom's Family The Rehearsal Dinner Father of the Grooms formal wear The Groom's cake The Bride Groom's wedding ring Gifts for the bridesmaids and flowergirls Bridesmaids luncheon Wedding gift for the groom Accommodations for out-of-town guests The Groom Bride's engagement and wedding rings Gifts for the groomsmen, ringbearers and ushers Bride's bouquets (1 to keep and 1 to toss) The mothers corsages Boutonnieres for himself, the groomsmen, ringbearers, and ushers The Marriage License Clergy Fee - paid directly to the officiant, separate from the church fee Wedding gift for the bride Honeymoon arrangements As far as the clothing worn by the groomsmen and bridesmaids, they are responsible for buying their own.

What are the responsibilities of the Maid of Honor?

So, you have been asked to be someone's maid or matron of honor. Congratulations! This means that you are one of the most important, trusted and loved people in her life and she can't imagine getting to or through her big day without you at her side. If you have never been afforded this privilege before, you may be wondering what exactly your duties are. Below is a list that will guide you. Not everything may apply to your particular situation, but it is a good place to start. Best advice: Get a Wedding Planning Book that you can put all of this information into, complete with a calendar of important dates and information for the bride such as vendors information and a timeline for things to be done. - Attend all the pre-wedding parties with the bride - Help her shop for wedding necessities, to include attire, decor, etc. - Throw wedding shower for the bride and groom or bachelorette party - Help address wedding invitations - Assist with putting together wedding favors - Assist bride with creating an emergency bridal kit for the wedding day - Keep track of dress fittings, hair, beauty appointments for the bride and bridal party, make sure they are in attendance - Arrive at the bride's home early to help her and the bridesmaids get ready for the wedding day - Make sure the bride stays nourished and hydrated on her wedding day, you would be very surprised how many brides forget eat and end up tired and cranky before they even get to the ceremony - Make sure the bride's engagement is on the right hand before the ceremony begins - Holding the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, maybe some tissue too - Arranging the bride's train when the ceremony begins - Hold the groom's wedding ring until asked for during the ceremony - Sign the marriage certificate. - Take your place in the receiving line to the left of the groom, and the bridesmaids to your left - Bustling the bride's dress for the wedding reception - Toast the bride & groom at the rehearsal dinner It is a lot of work, but if you are organized and stay calm, and everything will be fine. Smile, don't let the pressure get to you. This is her big day and you want to help her make it what she wished for. Finally, for you: enjoy the day. The bride has chosen you to stand beside her on the most important day of her life. Smile with her and laugh with her, have fun. You’ve earned it.